Reign of the Bloody Mockingjay
by LadyA.R.R.O
Summary: Returning home from the 74th Hunger Games has left Peeta and Katniss broken. They wade through the horrors of nightmares, only to realize an uprising is coming from the other districts. Katniss is asked an impossible thing, leaving her in fear for both her life but someone else's as well. The Victors Tour is only the beginning and it all ends in blood. (gore, sex, preg, MCD ect.)
1. Broken Seam Gray Eyes

Reign of the Bloody Mockingjay

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Summary: Katniss Everdeen and Peeta Mellark have returned home from the 74th Hunger Games only to find that the home they were stolen from to become tributes to a Capitol who cared nothing for their safety, has become a place of nightmares for them both. The blood and gore from the games has left them both damaged, Katniss more mentally, while Peeta's damage is more physical. They grow together to try to chase away the night terrors, while visits from a dangerous president and thoughts of conspiracy begin as hushed whispers throughout the districts. The Victors Tour lays out the scene for a revolt and Katniss is stuck in the middle with her newly appointed fiancé Peeta Mellark. When they are told they will be chosen to be in the Quarter Quells, Katniss realizes the horrifying reason for President's Snow's appalling request for the young woman and she now fights to keep safe something she never wanted in the first place.

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A/N - Band wagon jumping!

Blanket Disclaimer: I do not own Hunger Games or the characters. I do however own Sanseraph Snow, Serafina Gem, and Rayne Gem. Don't steal their goodness ^.^

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Chapter 1

Broken Seam Gray Eyes

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~ The nightmares were endless, just a revolving cycle of faces warped in death with twisted limbs and broken bodies. Their wide, sightless eyes were upturned in terror as their last moments were spent in he claws of pained agony. They knew they were going to die and that was the worst part.

~ The games took everything and gave back nothing, leaving her victors terrified and useless. They had become merely soulless husks of their former selves, a type of marionette doll for the Capitol, and with deadened gazes that stared out of voided minds whose thoughts had been perverted by gore the insatiable need to survive.

~Katniss sat immobile for days on her brand new bed in her brand new home stationed on Victor's Alley, simply staring out the window without a word. She had refused food and sleep, only drinking enough to keep her body functioning if just barely, though both her mother and Prim could see that the Girl on Fire was withering to nothing. Her so called _flame_ was swiftly becoming extinguished and there wasn't anything either of them could do.

~Her normally bright Seam gray eyes were distant and the dark bags beneath them grew longer and darker as each sleepless night passed her by. She ignored her mother and sister's pleading to eat, not answering Gale when he would come over to check on her. Even hunting disinterested her. As more time passed, it was apparent to those around her that Katniss was gone, her mind left behind in that forest that stole away whatever shreds of childhood innocence she had grappled onto before the reaping.

~Two weeks after her return and Katniss Everdeen looked like death. Her sunken cheeks and ashen colored skin had marred whatever beauty she had, and her bony, almost fragile frame looked so brittle that a soft breath could've blown her over.

~Mrs. Everdeen was at her wits end with her daughter when she made the decision to walk down Victor's Alley that chilly autumn morning. With Primrose watching the Capitol's _beloved_ Mockingjay, she knew that Katniss couldn't get herself any further down the rabbit hole than she all ready was.

~The middled aged woman stood on the porch of another victor, one she knew could put her oldest daughter back on track, and she raised her small, thin hand to the door to give it a light rap. From beyond the entrance the woman could hear sounds of things being moved around, things clanking together, and someone whistling from a small distance away.

~Steeling herself again, Mrs. Everdeen inhaled deeply and raised her hand again, this time knocking louder. For a moment there were sounds of ensuing chaos, something had been dropped as if the owner had been startled, but not a few agonizingly long moments later the heavy footfalls of someone distinctly male came traipsing towards the door.

~The knob turned and opened wide to reveal a disheveled and flour covered Peeta Mellark. When his gaze caught the older forties medium blonde woman with worn blue eyes, his own sky blue ones widened slightly. It was obvious Mrs. Everdeen wasn't an expected guest, but Peeta was anything but inhospitable and after stuttering a few times, he opened his door wide to allow the mother of the woman he loved, inside.

~"I-I know I'm unexpected," she began with a low voice.

~"It's okay," Peeta answered, leading the woman towards his well-used kitchen. He was in the process of making cream-filled pasteries and had apparently gone overboard, the delicacies were stacked high and piled on top of each other in endless troves. He noticed his guest's eyes questioningly absorbing the baked goods heaven before her and could sense her rising awe. "It keeps me busy," he answered for her, "I give them out to the kids."

~Mrs. Everdeen nodded wordlessly and felt her gaze drop to the floor as she wrung a portion of her blue flower printed dress in her hands. She didn't know how to start, talking about Katniss in her current comatose state made her feel as if she was ratting her daughter out to the Peacekeepers for poaching. Katniss was the strong one, not her. She didn't know how to be the solid one in the family.

~"Something tells me you're not here to see my obsessive baking." Peeta tried to joke, but Mrs. Everdeen didn't smile and the young man lost the humor.

~"It's Katniss."

~Two words Peeta hadn't honestly been expecting to hear. He hadn't seen or spoken to his victor mate since he'd gone home that first night after arriving here and he wanted to keep it that way to mend his aching heart.

~"What's wrong with Katniss?" He almost dreaded the answer, feeling some heavy weight crushing his chest. A million thoughts were currently screaming through his mind. _Is she hurt? Is she in trouble for hunting? What's going on?_

~"I think..." She paused and looked up at the young blonde man who had helped bring her daughter home from the games. He looked strong, healthy, and though there was a visable change in his deep blue eyes from before the reaping, they were still bright and full of life. And right now severe concern.

~"I think you should come see her."

~The request wasn't what Peeta had been anticipating, but he knew that if Katniss' mother was in his home looking like she was about to cry over her brunette manned daughter, then it was a request he was bound to honor. He nodded and untied the strings from his apron, pulling it over his head to toss it onto the counter. They walked out silently, the door clicking closed behind them as they hurried to Katniss Everdeen's home.

~Peeta witheld the gasp of surprise upon seeing the love of his life's transformed shell. She looked awful, like a string bean with limbs. Her hair was dull and her eyes lifeless, nothing like the girl he'd fallen for when he was five. She looked... dead.

~Katniss didn't even acknowledge Peeta's presence at first, starring out the window while her memory reel continued to replay on autopilot. She only looked up when there was some foreign body that came to sit next to her. For several agonizing moments, there wasn't a hint of recognition in her eyes until out of nowhere, she spoke. "The boy with the bread," she croaked out, voice hoarse from lack of use.

~Peeta nodded, "yes, it's me."

~More unnerving silence ensued, but at least Katniss was looking at him. Him and only him, there was no one else.

~"Are we dead yet?" She asked.

~"No, Katniss, we're not dead."

~"We should be," her eyes drifted back towards the window, "we should be dead just like Rue. She dreamed to live more."

~Peeta haltingly reached out for her hand and pulled it to his lap, "no, Kat, we shouldn't. What happened to Rue was an accident. Please don't blame yourself."

~"I see them. Cato, Foxface, Thresh, Rue. I see all of them when I fall asleep with their dead faces glaring at me. They know I should be dead too!" She yanked her hand back and pulled her knees to her chest to sob into her legs. "I think I'm going crazy, Peeta!"

~Unable to help himself, Mellark wrapped his strong arms around her and held her to his chest while she bawled. Whenever he thought she was about to finish, a new wave of wracking sobs overcame her and she gripped to Peeta as if he was the only thing keeping her grounded to earth.

~An hour passed and tears turned to heaving hiccups and finally, at length, silence. She was dead weight in his lap and he felt the soft, deep rising and falling of her chest against his, her heartbeat thrumming in tandem with his own. She had cried out the last remaining vestiges of her held grief, falling into a deep, restful sleep once again in his arms, something he hadn't dreamed she would ever do again.

~ Gingerly, Peeta laid Katniss' unconscious body on her bed, careful to pull the covers over he so the chill wouldn't creep up. She looked finally peaceful in her dreams and as he rose to go, something snatched up his hand in a vice grip. His eyes looked down at her, startled to find a fully awake and alert Katniss staring up at him almost begging.

~"Don't. Please."

~He couldn't believe what he was hearing. Katniss Everdeen didn't want Peeta Mellark to leave, bu he had to be sure. She had to say those words. "Tell me, Kat. What do you want?"

~Without missing a beam he shell shocked sixteen year old gripped tighter to his hand, "don't leave me, Peeta. Stay with me always."

~He nodded obligingly and came to lay down beside her, pulling her too thin, needy form to his chest. As she drifted off into a nightmareless sleep, he whispered back to her, "always."

~Katniss dreamed of sitting on the floor of her home in the Seam. A warm fire was roaring in the fireplace, keeping the entire house warm and toasty. She sat smiling on a threadbare rug, watching her father gently sharpening an arrow head for her bow, all the while explaining the complexities of weapon making. It was obvious he was enjoying himself and beside him sat Katniss' mother, Lillian, warmly taking in the scene with Prim beside her. There was no worry of the games, no being careful because of Peacekeepers finding them with weapons, and for the first time in a very long time, Katniss' father was alive and watching over them as he always should've been.

~This place was paradise, the only place President Snow, the death games, and the Capitol couldn't reach her, but something was missing, something the young sixteen year old couldn't place.

~A light rapping sound on the front door drew Katniss' attention away from her happy, whole family. She raced to the threshold and opened the barrier wide to reveal the only missing puzzle piece in her current, dreamlike life. A pink cheeked, flushed Peeta Mellark standing in the light snowfall from the darkened outside stood before her holding several packages. He was wrapped in a warm, old winter coat she was sure was a hand-me-down from his father or older brothers. But none of that mattered, he smiled brilliantly and came inside upon the invitation to place the gifts on Mrs. Everdeen's table.

~"I brought chocolate cake," he informed and in an instant, Peeta was being gushed over by an excited Prim and mother while Mr. Everdeen patted the boy appreciatively on the shoulder.

~Katniss watched from atari with a small smile plastered to her face that she couldn't rub off. This was how it should've been… how it always should've been.

~"I have something for you too, Kat." Peeta handed her a small box wrapped prettily with shiny green paper and a glittering gold ribbon. He grinned toothily and waited expectantly for her to open the box.

~Kat didn't know what to say, barely able to even muster up a breathless 'thank you' before pulling the ribbon's tail and tearing into the pretty gift. She found the tiny velvet box beneath the wrappings, sitting quietly in a lush lavender colored ring holder that Katniss rubbed her hands all over.

~"What is it?" She asked in a low whisper, but Peeta only smiled. Things all around them were becoming fuzzy, as if a fog had rolled in and begun to spread all around, leaving only Peeta Mellark and Katniss Everdeen behind.

~"Open it and find out." His voice echoed. the strong, masculine sound reverberating off the walls of her skull.

~She opened the box's top and pushed aside the sparkling tissue paper to expose a symbol she hadn't been expecting to see in her dreamland. The mockingjay pin in all is emblematic glory sat silently on a bed if more tissue paper, glittering gold with newness.

~"What? Peeta, I don't under…" She was picking up the pin now, looking up to him for answers, but Peeta was no longer there. He'd disappeared. Shadows had grown thick now and circled all around her, threatening to draw in close enough to drown her.

~"Peeta?" Katniss called, eyes darting about wildly, "Peeta?!" Her tone was becoming more and more frantic as she looked around in mind numbing fear. Anything but darkness, she could handle it all but the infinite blackness.

~Something was warm in her closed fist now and Katniss glanced down at the pin. It was warm, growing warmer by the second and within the young brunette's gut a strange, gnawing feeling of dread was beginning to form. Cold and hallow, like those days of near starvation after her's father's death were growing stronger, and then she saw it, the bubbles around around the mockingjay were forming and as each one popped, a dribble of red poured out the same color and viscosity of blood.

~Katniss threw the pin away, watching it go clattering to the floor, but the blood still came. This was her, the oldest Everdeen child was the symbolic mockingjay and she was covered in blood.

~A rising scream erupted from Katniss' throat and she felt herself falling into the deep undertow of never-ending darkness. As she fell, she vaguely wondered if this was what it felt like to die, but a tin part of her-the crueler part of her mind-taunted her and whispered how she didn't deserve that kind of peace.

~Katniss woke with a violent start, throwing back the stifling comforters and twisted bedsheets. She sat up straight as her fear clouded mind darted about to find that which was lost. Her eyes wandered around her desolately empty room and a tight clenching seemed to take hold of her heart then, Peeta had left her. As much as she didn't want it to bug her, it did. Even if earlier before had been fuzzy she remembered begging him to stay. Those words of hers were finely ingrained in her skull and in her time of need he'd abandoned her.

~A low knock was heard at the door, followed by the young man she'd been thinking illy of. He was carrying something that was steaming and even from the bed, Katniss knew it was broth and something baked, covered in cheese. I Kat had been hungry before, she was ravenous now. No sooner had Peeta set down her meal that she was digging into it with all the grace of an emaciated pig to slop.

~"Hey-hey-hey! Slow down or-" Peeta couldn't even finish, Katniss was all ready fumbling for her personal bathroom with her victor partner in hot pursuit.

~The painful sounds of retching made Peeta's face scrunch up in pitied disgust, but he knelt down beside her and lovingly held her hair up and out of her face while her shrunken stomach emptied its contents.

~Pungent, yellow bile came up at last and after a few dry heaves, Katniss fell back onto her ass, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand.

~"Better?"

~The young brunette looked up with her sharp, piercing gray eyes and nodded, "better."

~"At least your appetite is coming back," Peeta observed good naturally.

~"How long have I been out?" She asked, slowly trying to clamber to her feet. It took Peeta to finally help her gain her balance.

~"Three days and believe me, you smell like it." He lead her cautiously back to the bed, wincing every time her misused joints creaked and popped.

~"I was dreaming," she ground out with a voice like scratchy sandpaper.

~"Yeah, you talk a lot in your sleep." He noticed her questioning eyes as she handed back her broth, he answered. "Saying Prim's name, your father's… Mine, a few times. What were you dreaming about?"

~Katniss' hand movements were jerky as she lifted the metal spoon of her hot liquid to her lips. It burned her tongue but she didn't dare spit it out, the salty taste was heaven in her mouth. After she swallowed she made a halting reply, "I don't remember. It started out like a dream but turned into a nightmare and all I could see was blood."

~Nodding, Peeta understood. He too had nightmares he couldn't escaped from, though he drowned them out with baking and painting. From the looks of it Katniss hadn't figured out something to take her mind off the horrors of the games.

~A firm knock distracted the duo from their thoughts and a dusty, dirty Gale Hawthorne still dressed in his mining gear came in, fresh from the mines. His startled gaze caught Peeta and there was a moment where the two masculine forces in the room vied for power. The air was thick enough to taste and if Katniss had been more aware, she might've noticed the near physical auras emanating from the two young men, but she was too engrossed in inhaling her food. A few statically charged seconds later, Katniss choked as a bite of sustenance went down the wrong tube, causing a distracting uproar of violent coughs and gags that Peeta had to save his female victor from. Some hard back pats later and the girl from the Seam was better, looking up at Gale with a small smile.

~"Hey. Did you just get out of the mines?"

~"Yeah." His intense eyes identical to Katniss' own turned from his enemy to focus full force on Katniss. "Are you feeling better, Catnip?" He watched her nod jerkily and take a tiny nibble off a cheese bun.

~"Thanks to Peeta." She had said it so nonchalantly, as if it was a daily occurrence, easily thanked and forgotten, but it didn't ease Gale's apprehension.

~"Do you feel like hunting tonight?" He asked, a trainwrekc of questions begging to be answered were swimming around dangerously in his head, though the most prominent urge was to get Katniss away from Peeta.

~"She shouldn't," Peeta defended, answering for his-at the moment-compliant charge. He returned the hostile look the darker headed boy shot him.

~Through gritted teeth, "she should get out of bed. Hunting will make her feel better."

~"She's took weak. Do you want her to get hurt?"

~The boys quarreled back and fourth for a few long, tedious moments, the noise digging annoyingly into Katniss' brain with all the force of a giant trackjacker buzzing around in her skull. Neither of the two masculine forces that currently occupied space in her room had the right to dictate what she should or shouldn't do. If she wanted to go hunting, she was damn well going t go hunting. If she chose to laze around in bed until she withered and died, she would do that too. Neither of these two were going to tell her otherwise.

~Katniss shoved her platter away and wobbled to her feet. She felt Peeta's strong hands attempt to stabilize her as if she were a child, but when she jerked away and went stomping off into the bathroom, she was grateful to realize that the outburst had shut both of them up.

~Her shaky hands manipulated the bathtub's handles, and to her severe irritation, she could hear Peeta and Gale begin arguing again, this time louder and with more biting words directed at each other. In an effort to drown out their noise, Katniss reached up to the small tube radio she had gotten from the Hob a year before in exchange for a deer pelt. There was static on most of the channels, but Katniss had learned just the right place to turn the knob to get the only working channel on the radio to work, and not a second later a crackly song sung by a velvet voice man came on as he sung about a pretty woman and being flown to the moon. Should couldn't remember the rest as she undressed and dove head first into her bathtub.

~The water was roasting hot, not normally the young woman's preferred temperature, but there was a few weeks of grime, sweat, tears, and hallowness she needed to scrub away and burning it off seemed like the best choice. She slunk beneath the shimmering surface and suddenly all sound to the outside world beyond the bathroom doors was instantly cut off.

~Above her, the shower curtain and ceiling warbled all around as the water rippled. Bubbles tickled her nose and floated to the surface, popping with a dull snap that echoed throughout the porcelain tub.

~The moments ticked by and the infinite silence enveloped her like a thick, comforting blanket. Her eyes slipped closed and she relished in the mind-numbing feeling of overwhelming nothingness, where she didn't have to care about anything and where the games of the Capitol held no meaning.

~Her lung were quickly beginning to ache and she knew soon she would need a breath, but the quiet felt too good to interrupt. Her eyelids lazily lifted open and all she could see was a murky veil of red. A watery shriek escaped from her thin lips and chaos ensued.

~"Katniss! Kat!" Peeta was yelling from behind the locked bathroom door, banging loud as he listened to his love scream bloody murder.

~Primrose, followed by her mother and Gale came racing into the bedroom, their eyes filled with confusion and fear.

~"What's going on!?" Prim squeaked, watching as Peeta readied his shoulder to body slam the door.

~It took three good hits before the solid Mellark boy finally came crashing through. He slid over the water drenched floor, catching himself miraculously before he rolled over a motionless Katniss Everdeen.

~She was bawling, naked as a jaybird, but all impropriety was forgotten as Peeta reached for the soaked brunette and brought her to his chest. He hushed her tears, holding her tight while she gripped to him like he was the last remaining lifeline she had in this world. And as time slipped precariously by, her sobbing quelled and her mind grew dim.

~Peeta lifted the young girl into his arms, taking a towel with him and brought her towards the bed. In a moment, both Gale an Peeta were ushered out of the room to allow Prim and Lilly to dress their conscious, yet catatonic loved one and at the closed threshold both men stared hard at the opposite wall.

~"She's choosing you," Gale muttered angrily, unsure how to handle the newness of Katniss' turned personality.

~"She hasn't chosen anyone."

~"She'll choose who she knows she can't live without." It was a hard truth, something the two of them knew would come to pass sooner or later, but it was obvious that one of them was giving up the fight right at the beginning.

~Gale cleared his throat and leaned against the wall, crossing his arms over his chest. They were waiting.

~Lilly and Prim came filing out several agonizing minutes later, their faces dressed in worry and exhaustion. Katniss' depression had taken its toll on both of them.

~"She's asking for you, Peeta," Lilly said, apologetically glancing in Gale's direction and before anyone could say a word, Gale Hawthorn stormed down the stairs and out of the house, slamming the door behind him. Things had taken turn in a direction no one could've seen coming.

~ Peeta tiptoed back into the room as quietly as his prosthetic leg would allow. She was nestled deep under the covers, eyes open and waiting for the only person she knew would keep the waking terrors at bay. None of them, not Prim, her mother, or Peeta knew what to do. Katniss Everdeen's mind was slowly slipping through their grasp and they all feared that one day… it might not come back.

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-A/N - Yes, I've jumped on the bandwagon of Hunger Games. Sue me. -.-;; Anyhow tell me what you think. R&R


	2. Fixing Shattered

Author's Note - Another Chapter

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Chapter 2

Fixing Shattered

~Peeta spent most of his waking house helping Prim and Mrs. Everdeen with Katniss, and every sleeping moment within reach of her searching hands. In some ways, his reasons for sticking around so close were selfish, but there were those endless scream-filled night where only his touch calmed her to silence and Peeta Mellark became a near permanent feature in the Everdeen household.

~"So where is she?" Haymitch asked, taking a nice long swig from his clear glass filled to the brim with something Peeta didn't know the name of.

~"Hunting," he was relaxing on the older game victor's front porch, watching the man's geese waddle and meander around the yard.

~"Sweetcheeks finally went outside, huh?"

~"It'll be good for her. She needs to get out of this… rut she's been in."

~Haymitch nodded and took another drink. At this rate, he would be drunk and useless before sundown. "I see you spending a lot of time over there. Don't you have a home?" His words weren't unkind and anyone who knew the old dog well enough knew his poor humor was harmless.

~"I can't leave her at night. Prim doesn't know how to calm her and their mom just ignores Katniss until the nightmare passes. She breaking, Haymitch, and I don't know what to do."

~"You can't fix broken, kid. Might as well get that through your head now. If Sweetcheeks doesn't or can't be fixed, it's best to just leave the pieces alone."

~"You can't honestly mean that. She's your girl on fire, the mockingjay you passed off to all the sponsors as part of your star-crossed lovers."

~Haymitch rolled his eyes and turned his dishwater blonde head towards the younger male, "if you're starting to believe your own bullshit, loverly, you're in for a rude awakening. Life isn't flowers and fluffy rainbow kittens. Some people are cut out to survive life and some fall apart. Katniss is falling apart."

~"Well, I see you two gossiping about me, plan on sharing?" The very girl on fire noisily slammed down her heavy hunting pack on the end of the porch and climbed over the railing like some wild animal. She let herself down easily and dragged the fifty something pound bag towards the other two before plopping herself down beside Peeta and opening the toggle top.

~"I should just keep your dinner, Haymitch, seeing as how you're all ready drinking it. I thought you were going to cut back, isn't the VictoryTour coming up soon?" A fire twinkled in Kat's eyes, something neither of the men had seen in awhile and it made a smile twitch at the corners of Haymitch's lips.

~"I'll cut back when I'm dead." To reiterate his point, he downed the rest of his glass and made loud smacking sounds with his lips.

~Katniss rolled her steely Seam gray eyes and got up to put the two rabbits she'd snared into his kitchen. While she was momentarily occupied, a familiar face came purposefully striding down Victor's Alley. Gale Hathorne held his own pack and strode from the same direction Katniss had come. He looked angry and dejected, and on his left side, he sported a quickly forming black eye.

~"Wonder what that was about," Peeta began.

~Haymitch immediately shook his head and waggled his finger at the boy, "don't get involved. Keep your nose out of it unless you want to end up the same way."

~From the kitchen, Katniss gripped tight to the counter until her knuckles were white. She still couldn't believe it, couldn't comprehend what made her do what she'd done to Gale in the forest.

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_~"Catnip. I think the log snare caught the rabbit." Gale was all ready coming slowly through some thick foliage that was just barely gaining it's autumn coat, and he noticed Kat holding something in her hand a few steps away. He drew closer to see it was the pin she wore in the games, the one Madge had given her._

_~"Catnip. Hey! Are you listening?" He watched as Kat's attention lazily drifted towards him and there was a moment of blankness hiding in her eyes, but she recovered and shook her head to clear it._

_~"Huh?"_

_~"Rabbit. Caught. Log snare."_

_~"Oh," she got to her feet and hulked her game bag up and onto her should. "Sorry, I'm still out of it. I'm not getting much sleep." She followed behind him, her nearly silent footfalls were the only sound besides Gale's own steps that could be heard._

_~"I thought 'Peeta' was helping you with that." The apparent venom in his voice was unmistakable. He hated how much time Mellark was spending with her, but there wasn't anything he could do about it so long as Katniss continued to choose him._

_~"He can't hold my hand at night every night. He has a home and things to do too. Just like you do." She hopped over a quail sized rock and shoved her bow up higher on her arm to steady it._

_~"You and him hold hands?" Gale felt the green monster of jealousy rearing its ugly head._

_~"It makes the nightmares go away," she was shrugging it off as if it wasn't anything more than a nightly ritual, no more important than brushing her teeth or her hair._

_~"If you need someone there, Catnip, you could always call me."_

_~"We've been through this, Gale. You work the mines and I don't need you being too tired from listening to me scream and cry all night. Plus, we've tried it, remember? It didn't work." Katniss felt bad bringing up that particular night, She'd fallen asleep with Gale dozing at her back and throughout the night she'd awoken in tears, the fears only seemed to be appeased when Peeta's presence was nearby._

_~Gale grumbled, muttering something under his breath, but Kat caught it and snatched up the fabric of his arm. "What's wrong with you? Stop acting like an ass."_

_~"What's wrong with me? What's wrong with me!?" Gale's loud tone startled some grouse from the bushes, but neither of the hunters noticed. "Katniss, Peeta says he's loved you since he was five. He's dong this to get closer to you in hopes that you'll return his puppy love-sick crap."_

_~"Peeta hasn't done anything that you wouldn't have done for me if you could, Gale. He's being a good friend."_

_~"A friend doesn't sleep in the same bed as you. A friend doesn't claim some 'star-crossed lover' bull, bring you flowers, or kiss you on national television."_

_~"It was for the games, Gale. You know that!"_

_~"I know better than that, Catnip. He loves you and either you're blind to not see it, or just ignoring it because you're being selfish."_

_~There were two things Katniss knew right at that moment. She was angry for one, an coming to grips with Peeta's true feelings for the second. "How do you know how he really feels?" Of course she knew Peeta's feelings, he'd told her as much on the train ride home and she'd cruelly shot him down._

_~"Because he looks at you the same way I do."_

_~Kat's eyes widened in surprise. She'd always wondered about Gale's feelings, but he'd been surrounded by so many girls his entire life that she never pursued the thought of it beyond a very close friendship. Now here he was, practically confessing and the only person Katniss could think about was Peeta. His sky blue eyes, his sandy blonde hair that fell over his face, and his strong chest and arms that comforted her in her darkest moments._

_~"I… I don't know what to say." She was quickly floundering, being torn between hurting her best friend and hurting the only person who understood her nightmares and could appease them. Her head was spinning wildly and she rubbed her temple to ease the sudden migraine._

_~ Setting his face in a cold, hard stare, Gale suddenly dropped his bag with a dull thud and grabbed Katniss' shoulder._

_~She though he was going to shake some sense into her, but instead a pair of warm, chapped lips pressed hard against hers. All in an instant, a million thoughts crossed her mind. She smelled oranges and thought his skin was bathed in it. His dark hair tickled her face, but not the way she liked it. And finally, Gale Hawthorne's kiss didn't leave her breathless, it only made the uncomfortable knot in her stomach snap. She yanked herself away and before Katniss Everdeen could control herself, she doubled her right fist and punched Gale as hard as she could muster._

_~She stared at his reddening cheek, her mouth dropping open into a silent 'O'. He touched his face, rubbing the spot as if disbelieving what Katniss had just done, but said nothing._

_~"I'm so sorry-"_

_~"Stop, Katniss. I get it. You chose him."_

_~She ran from him after that, leaving her friend sitting where she'd knocked him on his ass and she once looked back._

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~"Kat!" Peeta yelled from the porch, "you mom's yelling at us to come for dinner."

~Katniss pulled herself out of the ring of memories and turned to leave, exiting Haymitch's house and greeting a drunk victor, but no Peeta.

~"Loverboy went to your house," his words slurred and he poured himself another drink, but Katniss took it swiftly and downed it without really tasting it. "Hey!" He shouted, fumbling around to grab the glass from her, though the alcohol had impaired both his motor skills and his depth perception. His missed terribly.

~"That stuff will kill you," he warned, hugging his flask away from the thief incase she wanted that too.

~"That shit is foul, I have no idea how you drink it." She coughed as the strong vapors wafted up to her nose and made her eyes water. A bit of liquid leaked out of the corner of her mouth and she wiped the pungent alcohol away.

~"Don't cuss," Haymitch ordered, although his tone sounded more derelict than anything else.

~"Don't drink." But they both knew that wouldn't be happening any time soon.

~Katniss picked up her bow and pack, wordlessly stalking her way down the porch steps. She turned only when she heard her name called.

~"You know you don't deserve him, right?" Their eyes met and there was a momentary battle of wills, but Haymitch's won out in the end and Katniss looked away.

~"No, I don't I know that."

~"He loves you, honestly loves you and you hurt him at every turn."

~Kat's eyes darkened slightly and Haymitch could almost see the inner demons working overtime within her mind. "He wants something I can't give him."

~"Can't or won't?"

~"He'll want to get married, have kids, be a family. I can't do that, Haymitch! I don't know how to be a family. I've spent too long being everything for Prim that I don't know how to do it for anyone else. And the Capitol keeps taking everything away from me. I refuse to bring more children into a world where we offer them up like stuck pigs on a platter." She didn't care who was listening, the liquid fire in her veins had all ready intoxicated her mind. "I don't want to hurt him, but I don't see how I can't end up doing that."

~Suddenly, Haymitch smiled, throwing Katniss off-guard, "you 'do' love him."

~Her eyes betrayed her feelings, there was no way to get out of this one, she was a bad liar. Everyone knew that.

~"I have a feeling that everything will be fine," he said cryptically, climbing out of his chair and almost crawling back into the house.

~Katniss lamented on her mentor's words the entire way back home, but by the time she'd made it to the entry way and had begun digging through her pack to hide her catch, the thoughts had diminished down to mush. Her first brush with strong alcohol had caused a fuzzy haze to descend upon her mind, laying siege to any clear minded thoughts.

~"Kat," Peeta said from the kitchen's threshold, "Prim's made rosemary rabbit stew. Come on." He watched her stare up at him, a strange look contorting her face, a cross between confusion and another expression he couldn't decipher, "Kat?"

~She climbed to her feet, bag forgotten and walked over to the sandy blonde who watched her closely. Her body came to stand directly in front of his, head upturned to be able to hold eye contact. Without warning, she flung her arms around his neck and slanted her mouth against his in a crushing kiss.

~There was a long moment where Katniss felt like she was floating, as if everything around her had come to a screeching halt, but then she realized too late that they were falling. Peeta had lost his balance thanks to her over exuberant force and his poor balance on his fake leg, sending them both careening to the hardwood floor. They hit hard, Kat's mother and sister looking on from the table with concern, but neither moved.

~To say Peeta was surprised was an understatement, though he quickly recovered enough to kiss her back. He even laid his hands on her hips to hold her as tightly as he could muster.

~When they finally broke apart to catch their breath, it was Katniss who spoke first. She laid her head in the crook of his neck and whispered, "I'm sorry I'm selfish an I'm sorry I need you to survive… I do…" She was struggling to say it, fighting with the part of her that was so terrified to let anyone but Primrose in. "…I do… love… you."

~Katniss' mother cleared her throat above them and both hormonally charged teenagers looked up, but only Kat had the good sense to blush. Peeta remained dreamily lying on the floor with a silly smile plastered to his face. They disentangled themselves from each other and scrambled to their feet. The following hour was spent eating in electrically charged silence, Prim and Mrs. Everdeen throwing each other glances while Peeta couldn't wipe the dopey smile off his face, and Katniss picked queasily through her food with fervor.

~A normal mother with a normal child would have sent Peeta home as the night drew on and bedtime was getting closer, but Lilly Everdeen knew that to send Peeta home, even the young man with a love interest in her daughter, would have been a condemning sentence for her oldest. She just prayed that this 'interest' wouldn't blossom further until it was the right time.

~"Did you mean what you said?" Peeta whispered lowly so no one would hear them. He lay facing Katniss, a hand tightly clasped to hers while she lay on her stomach, head towards him.

~"Yes," She offered no more of an explanation and the Mellark boy didn't press for one. He leaned forward to kiss her forehead and settled down into one of the happiest sleeps he had ever had before and in seconds, her was out, leaving Katniss to wonder what mental rules she had broken and what consequences would lay ahead for them.

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Author's Note - No R&Rs dang. I have more chapters to upload. Here you go.


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